Writing Log

Log #1

9/3/2024

3:34PM. I just finished my cold soda I got hours ago. I didn't even realize I was gone that long ago *sobs*

That said, I also got scared that I got a package after literally swiping. Oh, I'm in trouble and I mean it seriously.

Gonna look at retail therapy prevention and help like right now, but also I also need to actually...engage with the stuff I have downloaded and took me freaking weeks to actually download and get to this point.

Send help, seriously.

I did just finish going through one account and a boatload of likes and efficiently did so for at least 40 minutes to an hour, so that was something.

That said though, we need to get something straight. I need to put everything back. And I need to keep writing about this!

3:25PM. Every hour or so, I've been taking breaks by drinking/cooling off, bringing things slowly back into my room to clean up, and of course, tackling the ever growing pile of an old account that I have. Luckily though, I got to get through them slowly but surely, which is very nice. That being said, its been a while since I last wanted to write something, so I want to go ahead and take the time to channel that energy back. It's been four hours or so.

Speaking of four hours or so, I also like. Bought. Don't ask omfg. It's not exactly my proudest moment but I also felt like I'm about to bite myself off. Christ, don't look at me please.

NOTE TO SELF: I should rework that budget seriously. I don't like not keeping track of these things, but even so...I need to also like tackle my emails and pay those dues, before swiping for anything else. And yet it appears I have inherited that retail therapy. So much for watching Hoarders to deter myself from doing so. I should look this up, or you know, ask for help.

Not sure if this is anything, but I did come across this link here (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-why-behind-the-buy/201305/why-retail-therapy-works) and kind of feel better? At least I'm not outright shaming myself, or listening to the voices in my head that I've internalized so hard as a child that it carried me years onto the future. That way though, I can tackle this a little bit better. But I was also hoping I could find a way on why I do the things that I do.

11:39AM. Oh, my bad. I realized that I haven't really had any intentions with this one, and it kind of shows. My intentions for this website is quite simple, borderline boring. My intention for this website is an alternative to social media. And just liike I wrote in my home page, I intend to have this website as a buffer as, I am starting to want to create on the internet again, but know for the fact that, I am quite literally, not a person who is built for the algorithmns of the social media part of said internet. I intend to remedy that, whatever it may be.

When seeking out a place to write, I gravitated towards AO3 regardless of my best interest in mind. I know that place is abhorent for me, but I still want to try, for some weird human reason. So here we are.

This morning, I had one draft deleted. I didn't get to finish it, and I am half inclined to remember what it was I had written almost a month ago. That said, instead of wallowing as I usually do when these things tend to happen, I decided to create a literal place for me to post my drafts in place. To hell with everything else.

I want to write my silly yaoi fanfictions, and I want to do without having to remember to go back to this draft. Nor do I have any intentions of using Google or Microsoft for them, too. I want a place where I can cry. If AI will read this anyways in the privacy of my own computer, why not just simply? Write it here. At least carve out my own space, regardless.

11:34AM. I just finished creating a few more htmls, but will update the rest for later. Right now though, I have an itching to write, and write I shall. I just checked once again my budding draft for this work of fanfiction that wouldn't leave me for the life of me. I wrote a few paragraphs, a few brief scenes just to get me going, and I have so many ideas and, I know, not enough time. Afterall, there's only how many hours in a day, and I have class once again for tomorrow. And committments the day after. And intentions to get work done, the day after. And of course, weekends are for my love ones, not really for myself. Sad, isn't it? I haven't been an adult for that long, but I played adult during my childhood years, I really can't help but yearn for something that I never really had to begin with.

Anyways, enough of that. Let's see what we can do now, in the present, shall we?

11:21AM. I just spent roughly? An hour or so, speedreading through the code, playing around with the code, and even wrote on my side, mostly inspired by the Honkai Star Rail scenes I've just gotten through. And I still have a very very cold coffee awaiting for me back at the dining table. I still need to finish breakfast, lol. (And an entire things to do for the next half of the day, and in preparation for the next few days as well. I love how my inspiration to write is when I'm at the most busiest).

That being said, I can't really complain, now, can I? This feels great, if not otherwise a little daunting as it is exciting.

I just need to take it one step at a time. One creation at a time.

Cheers,

Quantifi

Remember! This is a work in progress. Enjoy your stay.